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Possibly the maddest dude ever. I’m pretty sure his rage has literally set him on fire.

by on February 4, 2013

I was going to finish telling you about Bioco and how I lost a billion isk Tengu, but this is way funnier, so I thought I’d get this hilarity out of the way first.

 

Our war targets have been fairly boring lately, as they often are. So I did what Skunks normally do in this situation and went looking for trouble by any method I could. What I found was my new favorite person, Theory666.

 

Theory 666 was looking for a corp to run missions with in Caldari space. I told him we were a well established mission running corp with command boosts and the occational wormhole op when we’re bored. He seemed fairly interested and didn’t bother to look at our killboard, or my bio and medals, or this blog, or google us or anything. He accepted what I said as gospel, threw in an app, and started moving to Osmon, where I told him we were running missions.

 

He landed in a Navy Raven and we got to killing him. He went down fairly easily and we stopped in low armor in order to ransom him. Initially we gave him the choice of 1) get murdered, B) pay us to let him go or iii) eject from his ship and get paid a bit of cash so he can afford a regular Raven or some tissues or something. He chose to get murdered, but I decided that I didn’t feel like obliging him. I told him he needed to pay or eject or I would hold him there all day.

 

That was actually a bit of a lie. We weren’t willing to hold him all day, but we held him for what must have been about 45 minutes, letting him pace back and forth between his options. He tried to do the old half-now-half-later negotiation, but he wasn’t exactly in a position to be making demands.

 

Eventually, we finished him off.

 

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=18744293#submitMail

 

He had many things to say, spread over several different channels including local, fleet, and corp chat. But the corp chat was by far the best. I’ll give you the link to the full pastebin and put select bits up on here.

 

http://pastebin.com/zJuZKxEf

[ 2013.02.04 02:50:33 ] Theory666 > you realize, I am doing this out of spite right? If you had jumped on me in null or WH, I would have paid and left or died horribly by now. But since you lured me in… I am pissed.

[ 2013.02.04 02:54:29 ] Theory666 > ok. now can someone boot me out of this corp?

[ 2013.02.04 02:55:09 ] Psychotic Monk > Nope.  Gave you roles.  You’re locked in.

[ 2013.02.04 02:56:24 ] Theory666 > thats unfortunate.

[ 2013.02.04 02:56:37 ] Psychotic Monk > Because?

 

So, discovering that he doesn’t know how to drop roles he decides he’s going to start googling the ever-loving piss out of us. He starts with the obvious parts. Like checking our previous corps and taking a look at my medals, something that would have saved him if he’d only done it beforehand.

 

[ 2013.02.04 03:19:45 ] Theory666 > hence why monk has that “I am gay” medal

 

 

And the googling continues…

 

[ 2013.02.04 03:25:09 ] Theory666 > cool. thanks. Hey your youtube page looks cool

[ 2013.02.04 03:25:15 ] Theory666 > and facebook

[ 2013.02.04 03:25:15 ] Psychotic Monk > THanks!

[ 2013.02.04 03:25:25 ] Theory666 > and neumerous interviews which I apperently missed…

[ 2013.02.04 03:25:43 ] Theory666 > you guys got a homepage? or do I have to get my ganks peicemeall?

[ 2013.02.04 03:25:57 ] Psychotic Monk > Home page?

[ 2013.02.04 03:26:11 ] Theory666 > or website/forum etc/. you know, where I can watch your greatest hits

[ 2013.02.04 03:26:43 ] Psychotic Monk > Nah, it’s gotta be piecemeal.  Sorry, man.

[ 2013.02.04 03:26:49 ] Theory666 > aww ok

[ 2013.02.04 03:27:50 ] Theory666 > so you live in canada?

[ 2013.02.04 03:27:57 ] Theory666 > what province?

 

A while later my man Floppie gets on and I catch him up on the happenings.

 

[ 2013.02.04 04:11:11 ] FloppieTheBanjoClown > Oh hey, I missed drama.

[ 2013.02.04 04:11:19 ] Theory666 > names, dates, corps, alliancies, those are much better sources of info

[ 2013.02.04 04:11:23 ] Psychotic Monk > Kill: Theory666 (Raven Navy Issue)

[ 2013.02.04 04:11:42 ] Theory666 > *hears Taps in background*

[ 2013.02.04 04:11:48 ] Psychotic Monk > Yeah, this dude is… well, I guess mad, but also he’s in our base, stealing our intel.

 

Eventually he gets down to trying to psychologicall analyze us.

 

[ 2013.02.04 04:35:18 ] Theory666 > I;ve met people like you before (XEROED, know him?) they all share similar views. Your goals are Not to make little iskies, but to make rediulous amounts of ISK’s specifically at the expense of others. You taunt, cajole, etc etc. You are Greifers.

[ 2013.02.04 04:35:44 ] FloppieTheBanjoClown > isk? we care about isk?

[ 2013.02.04 04:35:44 ] Psychotic Monk > Dude, we don’t give the slightest fuck about isk.

 

[ 2013.02.04 04:42:10 ] Theory666 > right. you care naught for the game. This whole thing, game and all, is just a vessel for you to feed off of human disariety and grief. Hence the name: griefer

 

[ 2013.02.04 04:50:42 ] Theory666 > I read, but it yeilds not much insite except that Monk seems to just like engineering helpless attacks. You arn’t a Dom by any chance? anyways I am logging off now. please boot me from corp so I can go on my own way.

 

[ 2013.02.04 04:52:04 ] Theory666 > normal greifer would gate camp. You like to join or hire someone, then put them into a position where you have the upper hand

[ 2013.02.04 04:52:35 ] Theory666 > and then you introduce a “way out” that is beneficial in your favor anyways

[ 2013.02.04 04:53:46 ] Theory666 > Every option was carefully analysised, weighed and counter weighed, until you have an (almost) impenitrable trap

[ 2013.02.04 04:55:05 ] FloppieTheBanjoClown > Wow, you make us sound WAY smarter than we actually are.

[ 2013.02.04 04:55:35 ] Theory666 > Then you pouce, you give the victim time to see that there is no way out, then you propose multiple options that may seem to help the victim but really doesnt

[ 2013.02.04 04:55:45 ] Theory666 > this was directed towards monk

[ 2013.02.04 04:56:05 ] Theory666 > He knows what he is, how he thinks, and how he acts.

 

So that was all good and hilarious, but today, while in class, I get an evemail from some war targets of mine who evidentally found him in a sparkling new Navy Raven and killed him again!

 

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=18744431#submitMail

 

They were even kind enough to send me a copy of his tears from local! ❤

 

http://pastebin.com/8irfkGg2

 

This tells me two things: I am in the right line of business and this dude has no idea how corp roles work.

 

But wait! It gets even better! This happened just as I started writing this, as he’s still in corp.

 

http://pastebin.com/k7mfa8wz

 

And then, from Floppie via Facebook:

 

Dude, someone from Eve got my cell phone number. He called me this morning from an anonymous number. Since then I’ve had two rather lame pre-recorded prank calls, and then I got this about 20 minutes ago via SMS:

 

anonymous@textem.net: You owe me a LOT of ISK. I will not rest until I get it. Fuck you, Pay me.

 

So that’s it for this saga so far, but I smell even more worth telling on the horizon. I will be sure to keep you posted.

From → Uncategorized

8 Comments
  1. Serpentine Logic permalink

    Oh, he mad.

  2. mdmnmdllr permalink

    Not sure what’s worse … the Theory666’s idiocy, or Ryuujinn Jakka’s use of T1 blasters on a Legion (!!?!?!?!?!??!!?!!?!!!)

  3. Hat Madders permalink

    Perhaps you could harvest his tears in some sort of engine that does useful work?

  4. RubyPorto permalink

    1. I didn’t know you had a blog. Now I do and I am happy.
    2. Blaster Legion. I’m just going to put that out there, because he died to a Blaster Legion.

  5. You deserve some kind of medal for this. Well done.

  6. Don’t even go half-cocked on this, just get law enforcement on it ASAP. It doesn’t even matter whether he would ever do anything about it, the fact he is thinly veiling real-life threats is fucking awful.
    Also get CCP involved ASAP – it’s a perma-ban for sure.

  7. Mallak Azaria permalink

    That is really creepy. He needs help.

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