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He didn’t bubble-hearth, either.

by on March 3, 2013

So I’ve been talking about safaris a lot lately, and I have been doing them at a breakneck pace, but The Skunkworks is also a wardec organization. We’ve got about a dozen decs up right now. We’re also in an alliance that’s sharing decs, so if we run out of targets we’ve decced we can go after targets someone else in the alliance decced. It’s a really nice way to make the most of our relationship with similarly minded wardec dudes.


One of the organizations we’ve decced is Shadows in Space. They’re a primarily russian-speaking organization and we’d been seeing them all over and fairly disorganized. We were hunting something else entirely when Floppie bumped into one of their pilots on his neutral eyes. The guy we were after was many jumps away, and it was fairly trivial to check stations to see if they were in space, Floppie checked and sure enough we would be able to kill him only if we could find him.


Floppie scanned around and we were having super bad luck finding his boat. Finally it came down to either a Paladin or a Retriever.


We were absolutly salivating in anticipation. It was pretty late, we probably both should have been in bed already, but Paladin kills don’t fall into your lap every day. We found him in a mission behind two acceleration gates. Normally we wait until they’re in the first room or in an ungated mission, but it was super late and we thought he might be nearly done for the night. So we took a chance that he wasn’t checking local and we warped in.


We just got to the gate when he dissapeared from d-scan. We were somewhat bummed. Floppie, however, the infinitly better player of the two of us, was determined to get the Paladin and decided we should just log off in place and wait.


And wait we did. Nearly an hour he stayed docked up. I was ready to call it a night, but Floppie reminded me how much better I’d sleep with a Paladin killmail under my pillow and so I stayed up.


Finally, he undocked. He sat on the station for a second. He docked up again, re-undocked, dropped a can, picked up his can and then, after his small siezure of nonsensical behaviour, warped to his mission pocket. As soon as we saw he was in warp, we logged in.


If you log out inside a mission, when you log back on you should warp to the entry point of the mission. That means we landed on the exact same spot as our target. We laid point on him. He was a tough fucker and he was doing good damage to Floppie’s Legion. It even looked for a second like we weren’t going to be able to break him.


Luckily, I had been playing in Pyfa with a neut/drone Prophecy earlier in the day and was flying exactly that. I started landing good neuts on him and after a minute the web on Floppie dissapeared, the guns started firing only intermittently, and we began to break his tank.


We tried convoing him in order to ransom, but he wasn’t responding, so we were forced to murder his boat.


His pod escaped, but it was about then that he started responding in conversation. At first he was mad. He called us cowards and said we were worthless in real life. He pulled out the usual drivel about how this not a game about PvP and he should be allowed to do whatever he wanted unmolested.


He eventually calmed down and started talking like a real human being, although he did call me a pussy in russian near the end.


Enjoy a pastebin about it.


P.S. Guys, things have been going on at breakneck pace around here lately. I have stories to tell you about wardecs and POS shoots and a safari where I got a PLEX as ransom, as well as many many tears. I’ve just been so busy I barely have time to write. I think they call that a high quality problem.


I also recorded a podcast this morning! It’s normally a wormhole-themed podcast but they did a griefer/thief episode. I don’t know when it’ll be up, but when it is you can see it over at


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