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A little fun with a goon recruitment scam.

by on April 3, 2013

If you spend any significant time in the recruitment channel you’ve probably seen me there. I keep tabs on it because it’s a huge source of targets for me, and I enjoy occasionally trolling people by asking if anyone has a large highsec guild I can join. I fairly frequently get convoed by goons trying to recruitment scam me. If I’m in a playful mood I’ll string them along for as long as I can and get some joy out of their wasted time. This time I hit on something a little more fun.

I was convoed and jumped ahead a bunch of steps, pretending to be eager to join up, and threw in an app without jumping through any of the usual hoops. I was fairly quickly rejected, and noticed that it was a name that I recognized that rejected me. So I told my friendly recruiter that I’d convo the guy who rejected me, at which point he instantly dropped convo.

Have the following conversation between me and DaiTengu (and also some entirely random goon.)

[03:33:13] Psychotic Monk > Hi!

[03:33:19] Psychotic Monk > o7 m8

[03:33:20] DaiTengu > greetings

[03:33:40] Psychotic Monk > Your recruiter told me to apply.  May I ask why I was rejected?  I have many SPs.

[03:33:47] Psychotic Monk > 74 millions of the SPs.

[03:34:07] DaiTengu > did you pay the security deposit?

[03:35:13] Psychotic Monk > The security deposit is renowned as a scam.  I have 74 million of the SPs.  I was actually hoping to get a recruitment fee.

[03:35:41] Psychotic Monk > I told him I was in convo with you and he left conversation.

[03:35:46] Psychotic Monk > Maybe he just disconnected.

[03:36:13] DaiTengu > what was his name?

[03:36:17] Psychotic Monk > <url=showinfo:1373//92980993>Risken42</url>

[03:37:52] Psychotic Monk > Is he okay?  Maybe he tripped and broke his neck and pulled out his ethernet cord while doing so?

[03:37:59] Psychotic Monk > Could you check for me?  I’m worried.

[03:38:28] DaiTengu > You must pay the 500m isk application fee before I can process your application.  In your case it’s 1b ISK due to  your corp history being as long as &lt;insert dick joke here>

[03:40:01] Psychotic Monk > I assure you I’m not a safety risk.  You can check my medals, they’ll tell you.

[03:41:12] DaiTengu > “This polayer&lt;sic> is a known and confirmed Awoxer”

[03:41:17] DaiTengu > 2b

[03:41:42] Psychotic Monk > Yes.  I’m not sure if you’re familiar, but Awoxer means trustworthy man of distinction.

[03:42:07] Psychotic Monk > After the famous Greek judge Awoxiclese.

[03:42:38] DaiTengu > Oh well in that case, 3b.

[03:43:18] Psychotic Monk > That’s my recruitment bonus?  That’s very generous of you.

[03:43:30] DaiTengu > your recruitment fee is now 5b

[03:43:32] Psychotic Monk > Have we determined if the previous fellow tripped and broke his neck?

[03:43:43] DaiTengu > he has. you should feel bad about yourself.

[03:43:50] Psychotic Monk > <url=showinfo:1379//92980993>Risken42</url> !

[03:43:54] DaiTengu > he is now paralyzed

[03:44:00] Psychotic Monk > We were worried you tripped and broke your neck!

[03:44:02] DaiTengu > and operates his keyboard with a straw

[03:44:16] Risken42 > what

[03:44:17] Psychotic Monk > Are you okay?

[03:44:25] Psychotic Monk > You dissapeared rather suddenly

[03:45:05] Risken42 > Oh sorry, my headphone cord got wrapped around my gaming fanny pack

[03:45:12] Risken42 > nearly died

[03:45:32] Psychotic Monk > But you’re okay now?

[03:45:32] DaiTengu > I told him that your neck is now broken and you operate your keyboard with a drinking straw.

[03:45:54] Risken42 > I am now typing with a straw, yes

[03:46:16] DaiTengu > anyway, recruitment fee is 5b, payable to Risken42.  This offer is good for 10 more minutes, at which time it doubles.

[03:46:17] Psychotic Monk > Well, at least you’ve acclimatized to your new condition quickly.

[03:46:42] Psychotic Monk > That’s a very generous recruitment bonus, but I don’t really need that.  I have enough.

[03:47:00] DaiTengu > You are really bad at this, but I have had enough fun now.

[03:47:04] DaiTengu > So long!

[03:47:19] Risken42 > &lt;3

[03:47:22] Psychotic Monk > ♥

From → Uncategorized

  1. Badass permalink

    I’m giggling so hard

  2. Spysix permalink

    Hey Monk, fun fact, it takes about 12 seconds to load your employment history.

  3. Brian permalink

    Just what in the wild wild world of fuck is a gaming fanny pack?

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